My JourKNEE Back

"A person's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (CSB) Can you ever truly be  prepared for something? Obviously, you can take steps to prepare by educating yourself, training, and setting forth simple goals to be as prepared as you can be. You can feel prepared as you embark on the very thing you've trained for, but I'm not sure you ever truly are prepared. When the challenge is facing you head on, there are always changing factors that can affect your reaction and, ultimately, your outcome. I have been preparing for my four-person relay race coming up in November. I have educated myself on what the course looks like, although, I still have to study the map to know where my leg of the race begins and ends. I have talked with the other teammates who have run this race before and asked them my questions. I know how timing works. I know there is a van that will transport me to my starting point. I know there will be aid stations. ...

Thursday, I stepped out my side door to wait for "J." She normally meets me at 5:30 a.m. and the current time was 5:27 a.m. I looked down the street and saw no signs of her. I pulled my phone from my pocket to read this text, "Head my way. I went to the couch to sleep and never brought my phone down. 😭I just woke up." I replied, "okay" and headed her way. As I began to run, I felt a heaviness in the pit of my stomach. Is this anxiety? I have had this feeling at other times, but I can't pinpoint exactly what the feeling is and why it randomly shows up. My breathing felt labored and I told myself to "calm down," "slow your breathing," "take it easy." Before I knew it, I was falling. I guess I didn't pick up my feet enough and tripped on the sidewalk. As I was going down, I had flashbacks from January when I fell and broke my hand, resulting in a cast and a six-week break from running. Thankfully, this fall only resulted...

Has anyone ever told you that God loves you? Well, He really does! What emotions does that bring up inside of you? What questions do you start to ponder when you hear that there is a Creator who made you and loves you? Do you even believe such a Creator exists? One who was, who is, and forever more will be. I was reminded this week how quickly life as we know it can change. How one report from the doctor can turn your entire world upside down. How one unwise decision can change the trajectory of your life path for years to come. How one time of taking the easy way out can actually, over time, make your life harder. How, in an instant, it can end unexpectedly. Someone that is technically not family but has become like family for the past 23 years has been told they only have months to live. My heart was immediately heavy and convicted. Have I ever talked to this person about Jesus? My thoughts led to others that I come in contact with on a regular basis. Sure, they may know that I go to...

I think a fault of mine is that I am sometimes too honest. Not every negative thought about myself needs to be spoken. Sometimes, the reason I do it, is that it feels like it helps to prep those around me in case things don't go well. For instance, now that I said "yes" to joining the 4-person relay team (see last week's post), the training has begun. A group chat has been initiated between the four of us. It was suggested we do a run together sometime in the fall. My response was "anxious thoughts creep in when you mention a group run (because of my slowness) BUT I think it would be awesome to meet you all and connect more before the race so I'm in!". Did I need to add the part about me being anxious when I really do love the idea? I think it will be helpful to get to know the others in the group, two of whom I've never met, before race day. Subconsciously, by adding that I'm already feeling anxious, if the run doesn't go well when we do me...

I had my response typed out, ready to hit "send," but instead I sat there with a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really want to say "yes," but I'm also scared so maybe I should say "no?" Back and forth, yes and no battled in my head.  Finally, I said to myself, "Take the first step, make a decision, and you will feel better either way." I locked in my "yes" response and sent it. I have been asked for the past two years whether I would like to participate in a 4-person relay run to raise money to dig wells so villages in countries such as Uganda, Guatemala and South Asia could have clean water closer to home. I declined both years but now I was being asked again, for the third year in a row. Like I stated previously, I really wanted to say yes but I was scared.  The leg of my race would be five miles. I wasn't afraid that I could complete the distance. My hesitancy came from a place of a real fear of being the last pe...

My daughter and I picked up fast food and took it to the park tonight. As we sat there, it began to rain. We sat in silence and listened to the sound of the rain hitting the roof, the paved asphalt path and dripping into the puddles. It was beautiful and relaxing. I began to think about how nice it is to simply sit in silence. Silence can speak volumes.  Sometimes you're silent for the simple fact that you have nothing to say. I almost skipped this week's blog because I didn't have any ideas jumping out at me. It was a busier week, and I didn't take time to sit in silence with my own thoughts. There wasn't anything particular noteworthy that stood out.  Sometimes you're silent because you're afraid to say something you can't take back. I've been asked for the past two years to participate in a relay race. Even though I said I would give an answer this week, I have yet to respond because I am afraid to commit. I get anxious thinking about it, but then...

M ost Christians would have heard the phrase, "You're too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good." I know what that quote is implying at face value. I do think we can become too inwardly focused trying to improve ourselves to be more Christ-like that we end up being of little help to those around us. However, I venture to ask the question, "If our focus isn't on heaven, can we be of any good here on earth?" I think a lot of Christians have lost the proper reverence we should feel toward God, the Creator and Savior of this universe. I believe it trickles down from our church leaders who have tried to incorporate fun programs into the church to become a "church for the unchurched." Where messages of love are preached and the harder topics of sinfulness go unwilling to be addressed.  While God IS love and He " so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3...

My family enjoyed a lovely week away. We started north, spending the night in Springfield, Massachusetts then continued north to spend three days in Bar Harbor, Maine. As the week came to an end, we began to make our way south, toward home, stopping for two nights in Newport, Rhode Island. I had intentions of running at least twice throughout the course of the week and told "J" and "K" to check in with me for accountability. Even after all the thinking ahead, I returned home having done a lot of walking, but did not get a single run in.  This is why, after twelve years of running, I have a hard time thinking of myself as a runner. Committed runners would have gotten their runs in no matter what. They would have looked forward to running somewhere new. They, at least, would have made time to use the hotel treadmill. I didn't feel safe in certain neighborhoods, and I was not familiar with the roads and if there were shoulders or sidewalks to safely run on. Being i...

There is no greater freedom that any man can give to you that God hasn't already granted you through the death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. Once you have freedom in Christ, there is no freedom that any man can take away from you.   Sometimes people think of Christianity as just a bunch of rules. If it is merely your religion, then that's what it becomes. We don't like to use the word "sin" because we don't want to feel like our actions are wrong or that we are "bad" people. However, Jesus Himself came to earth to do away with the law. When we learn who the Bible says He was (and is and forevermore will be) and believe it in our hearts and minds then we can begin to have a relationship with Him.  It is in that relationship where we will want to please Him just as we do our parents, spouse, children and those we love. We will realize, though, that there is nothing we can do to make ourselves "holy" or "good enough. We are...

I'm not feeling like I have anything inspirational to say today. I didn't last week either which is why a blog post was missed (if anyone noticed). However, I made a commitment to make a post each week and felt like I need to get something on "paper." What can be said that hasn't been said before? What can be said to encourage you when I feel like I am not personally making progress? As I roll these questions around in my own head, let's review the purpose for which this blog was originally started. "This blog is intended to track my progress from meniscus surgery back to my goal of being able to run again" (as stated in the blog description). Readers who have recently joined in following my posts should really go back to the beginning. My meniscus surgery was on August 17, 2023. It did not take me the expected 4-6 weeks to return to normal. Rather, it was a long, frustrating road to recovery for me. My daughter just asked me yesterday, "Do you ...

This post is coming out a day late. I wasn't going to write anything this week because nothing was coming to mind. However, as I went about the day, one sentence kept running through my thoughts. It was a sentence that was said to us yesterday at a church we were visiting for the third time in a row. I can't even remember who said it, but we were told, "Everyone will want you in their group. The groups will be fighting to have you."  That had me thinking back to just four weeks ago. We were talking with the Pastor of the church we had been attending for the past five and a half years, explaining to him that we were beginning to look around at different churches, weighing the pros and cons of switching congregations. One of the reasons we gave him is that we haven't felt a sense of connection at the current church. He encouraged us to join a small group. We informed him that we did check the small group listing and they all appeared to be full at the time to which ...

I hope this doesn't contradict last week's post, but here are my thoughts for today. Yesterday, I was in the shower, well into my Saturday routine. I really hesitated to wake up early to get some miles in but, as I lay there, I thought maybe I'd feel better if I did get up so I decided to do so. I was tired and thought a walk after the week's run efforts would be good enough. I also thought after I did my morning tasks, I would have enough time for a little rest before leaving the house. However, here I was, still taking a shower, feeling very hungry because I had not yet eaten breakfast, knowing there was laundry in the dryer that still needed to be folded, and I was down to an hour before I had to leave. Tiredness caught up with me, and I (literally) cried out to God, "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to live anymore. I'm tired!" Just like in a running routine, you need to make time for "rest days," however you define them;...

Wake up in the morning, go for a run, come home, shower, and eat breakfast. Leave for work, come home, eat lunch, check office duties off the list (such as invoicing for the morning's jobs), and take a little nap. Straighten up some things around the house, make dinner, spend time with the family, get ready for bed, watch TV, and go to sleep. Wake up, go for a run, come home, eat breakfast, and go to work. You get the idea. The monotonous days keep passing by and I find myself constantly looking forward to the next exciting event such as what my weekend plans may be, an upcoming holiday or planning for our summer vacation. Woohoo!  When I'm alone listening to worship music, I can get really excited as I get caught up in the emotions. When I listen to a thought-provoking, bible-teaching podcast, I can get fired up to go live in my full purpose as God intended. As soon as I step out of my private space and back into the world of people surrounding me, it's so easy to lose tha...

How do you greet someone on Memorial Day? Social media posts that begin, "Happy Memorial Day," never sit right with me. On the day a friend is burying a loved one, I wouldn't greet them with "Happy Funeral Day!" People often confuse Memorial Day with Veteran's Day. Memorial Day was first introduced on May 5, 1868, when Major General John A. Logan issued General Orders No. 11, also known as the "Memorial Day Act." This order formally established "Memorial Day" as a Decoration Day on which we, as a nation, would remember those who gave their life while serving in the Armed Forces of the United States, decorating their graves as a way to honor their sacrifice. When asking Google what NOT to do on Memorial Day, the number one thing was "Don't wish someone a Happy Memorial Day." It is not a holiday to be happy but, rather, we should be somber as we remember those lives lost. It also said to not thank an active-duty service member...