My JourKNEE Back

I think a fault of mine is that I am sometimes too honest. Not every negative thought about myself needs to be spoken. Sometimes, the reason I do it, is that it feels like it helps to prep those around me in case things don't go well. For instance, now that I said "yes" to joining the 4-person relay team (see last week's post), the training has begun. A group chat has been initiated between the four of us. It was suggested we do a run together sometime in the fall. My response was "anxious thoughts creep in when you mention a group run (because of my slowness) BUT I think it would be awesome to meet you all and connect more before the race so I'm in!". Did I need to add the part about me being anxious when I really do love the idea? I think it will be helpful to get to know the others in the group, two of whom I've never met, before race day. Subconsciously, by adding that I'm already feeling anxious, if the run doesn't go well when we do me...

I had my response typed out, ready to hit "send," but instead I sat there with a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really want to say "yes," but I'm also scared so maybe I should say "no?" Back and forth, yes and no battled in my head.  Finally, I said to myself, "Take the first step, make a decision, and you will feel better either way." I locked in my "yes" response and sent it. I have been asked for the past two years whether I would like to participate in a 4-person relay run to raise money to dig wells so villages in countries such as Uganda, Guatemala and South Asia could have clean water closer to home. I declined both years but now I was being asked again, for the third year in a row. Like I stated previously, I really wanted to say yes but I was scared.  The leg of my race would be five miles. I wasn't afraid that I could complete the distance. My hesitancy came from a place of a real fear of being the last pe...

My daughter and I picked up fast food and took it to the park tonight. As we sat there, it began to rain. We sat in silence and listened to the sound of the rain hitting the roof, the paved asphalt path and dripping into the puddles. It was beautiful and relaxing. I began to think about how nice it is to simply sit in silence. Silence can speak volumes.  Sometimes you're silent for the simple fact that you have nothing to say. I almost skipped this week's blog because I didn't have any ideas jumping out at me. It was a busier week, and I didn't take time to sit in silence with my own thoughts. There wasn't anything particular noteworthy that stood out.  Sometimes you're silent because you're afraid to say something you can't take back. I've been asked for the past two years to participate in a relay race. Even though I said I would give an answer this week, I have yet to respond because I am afraid to commit. I get anxious thinking about it, but then...