The Good Shepherd

This post is coming out a day late. I wasn't going to write anything this week because nothing was coming to mind. However, as I went about the day, one sentence kept running through my thoughts. It was a sentence that was said to us yesterday at a church we were visiting for the third time in a row. I can't even remember who said it, but we were told, "Everyone will want you in their group. The groups will be fighting to have you." 

That had me thinking back to just four weeks ago. We were talking with the Pastor of the church we had been attending for the past five and a half years, explaining to him that we were beginning to look around at different churches, weighing the pros and cons of switching congregations. One of the reasons we gave him is that we haven't felt a sense of connection at the current church. He encouraged us to join a small group. We informed him that we did check the small group listing and they all appeared to be full at the time to which we were given this response, "Maybe you should lead one." 

The intention of this blog is not to throw the Pastor under the bus. Our faith has grown during our time at this particular church, and, in the first three years, we enjoyed our time there, even becoming members. In the Pastor's defense, leading a small group seems like a logical suggestion. We could have definitely started down that path. However, we have been in small groups in the past that were not good experiences. We were in a group before that stopped meeting because the leaders took a break after having a baby. We found out sometime later they started meeting again, without us knowing. Were we intentionally left out? Most recently, we were in a group with four other couples. I found out that the women had gathered at someone's house for pool time to which I was not invited. The men had gotten together to fish, and my husband was not invited. All of this to say, there has been some feelings of rejection when it comes to small groups in the past, so we are hesitant to jump right in at this time and start one on our own.

"Maybe you should lead one." As I said, good suggestion, but what could have been a more caring suggestion? Perhaps, "I can give you information on our small group. Maybe you could join us?" or "Let me check around and ask if any leaders have room for the two of you." Let's give the benefit of the doubt and assume there are logistical reasons that I'm not thinking of as to why those suggestions wouldn't have worked. Either way, we have not gotten a text from anyone in that church since we have not been there the past three weeks saying we were missed or even just a "We're praying for you."

Isn't that the purpose of attending a church building, to do life with other believers? We want to contribute and have that warm feeling of acceptance. We are longing for a "good shepherd" as described in Matthew 18, "If someone has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, won't he leave the ninety-nine on the hillside and go and search for the stray?" (Verse 12 CSB) We want someone to miss us and deem us worthy enough to come and find.

In John 10 (CSB), Jesus compares Himself to a shepherd, "and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." (Verse 3) "When he has brought them outside, he goes ahead of them. The sheep follow him because they know his voice." (Verse 4) "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (Verse 11) We cannot expect any man or woman to live up to this standard. We are, at our very nature, selfish humans. We need to look up and fix our focus on God alone. In the meantime, we will keep searching for our flock.