Messy

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 The weather was not in my favor this week. It snowed quite a bit a week ago, for most of the day on Sunday. The temperatures were close to 0° Fahrenheit with real feels reaching as low as -16°. These frigid temperatures allowed for the snow to stick around longer, melting a bit during the sunniest part of the day only to refreeze in the evening and overnight. Roads and sidewalks were messy. On two of my running days, I decided to stay inside and use our Walking Pad. If you know me well, you know that I despise the treadmill. While I was thankful to have this option, it does not give the same feeling as outdoor miles. Therefore, despite the cold, I decided to venture outside on the other two running days. I had to be careful. I slowly had to navigate around the mess of the snow and ice. There were times that I had to hold back and keep my stride shorter than usual as to not slip and fall on my back. 

Relationships are messy. All relationships. Even in family relationships, there are different personalities trying to work together. While each person brings their strengths to the table, so to speak, each person also brings their weaknesses. Well-meaning advice can lead to hurt feelings. Quickness to resolve issues can leave a person feeling unvalidated. Even the fun but chaotic environment can leave a person feeling unseen. Each member brings their own struggle as to how they fit into the family. What is their role? How will they be seen? What can they contribute? 

If it is this hard to feel appreciated, loved, valued and productive within the safe environment of a family structure, how much more difficult is it to find these things within a church family? The bible refers to the church as the body of Christ. "Now you are the body of Christ, and individual members of it." (1 Corinthians 12:27 CSB) In order for the body to get anything done, all of its members must cooperate and work together. I've heard this concept all of my life, having grown up within the structure of a church and have yet to see it carried out well. Within a family structure things may get messy because we know each other at a deeper level; raw emotion, character flaws, bad decisions, a church "family" can become messy because these things are hidden behind a mask intended to make us appear to be more righteous. 

This can leave an individual feeling like they will never fit into the group. You can go to the same church building week after week, put on a smile while you are there, and leave feeling like you will never be good enough, never really cared for. Some of it does go back to comparing ourselves, as discussed in last week's blog. Some of it can be trying to seek comfort from sinful human beings that only a sinless God can provide. Some of it can be the result of our own self talk that is always putting us down. Some of it, though, is just a matter of the members of the church trying harder to look for those who feel they don't fit in. My hurt from the church falls into several, if not all, of these categories. We must do better! 

We are commanded to love one another. "I give you a new command. Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." (John 13:34-35 CSB). I am NOT saying by any means that we accept sinful behavior which I do feel a lot of churches are falling prey to in the name of "love" and "tolerance." That's a whole different subject. I AM saying to love one another with a genuine concern for the individual. If we see someone in our church standing alone, try to start a conversation with them. At least offer, "it's nice to see you here today." Even direct eye contact and a smile to a stranger can go a long way. Too many times, we can be on a mission to find friends that we will walk right by someone that is just looking for a smile, a nod, any sign that they are seen. 

I challenge myself and you, if you so choose, to look for this type of individual throughout the week and especially as I attend our church service next Sunday.  Let's turn our personal hurt and disappointment into intentional love toward someone else. 

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