Ups and Downs

I have been back to running for almost three months at this point. Some runs are better than others, as is to be expected. In full disclosure, though, I have not followed my PT plan for three weeks. I realize that I have some added stiffness in my calf muscles as well as some knee pain from lack of strengthening exercises and I take full responsibility for that. I also have been failing miserably at getting my nutrition on track which is why I've been avoiding that subject all together. 

While out with my friend, on October 8th, I had one of my worst runs. We weren't even a mile in when my legs simply wanted to walk. They stopped moving without any warning. "Come on," my friend said. I responded with, "I can't." "Yes, you can. Keep going." I willed my legs to move and managed to make it a little farther. I whined throughout all 3 miles. I unconsciously kept taking walk breaks and told my friend to keep going, insisting I couldn't do it. She kept urging me on a little bit at a time. At one point she even told me not to start crying. (She knows how to read my facial expressions.) I slowly made it the 3-mile distance, ending at her house. We took the obligatory proof-of-a-run selfie, and I began walking home. On the shameful walk back to my house, I laughed to myself about how whiney I was. The things that come out of my mouth on a run before even thinking them through are sometimes amusing, sometime embarrassing to myself. I gave this run a "thumbs down" in my Garmin app. It was one that I wanted to forget for sure, but what I was most afraid of is that this run would get in my head and cause me anxiety the next time I headed out for some miles. I prayed that it could be forgotten, and that God would help me relax into the run, calm my breathing, and focus on keeping my legs moving, no matter the pace. 

Two days later, my friend picked me up and we headed back to her house on our 3-mile route. We ended with 3.25 miles and my pace was a full minute faster than it had been on that awful morning just two days earlier. Only one week after that, I had one of my best runs in a long time, even ending with negative splits which is rare for me. I don't know what made the difference in just one week, but I can tell you that every run since that point hasn't been great. As you all know, it's not like we make progress in life and keep going up from there. Life consists of many ups and downs. In John 16:33 (CSB), Jesus tells us "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world." In this verse, Jesus tells us that we will have suffering in this world. It's guaranteed! We are not to get down and out and wallow in despair. Don't let those bad runs, missed promotions, ended friendships, financial struggles, long-awaited answers to prayers that never seem to come get in your head. Jesus also tells us to be courageous because He has overcome the world. Lean into Him, calm your breath and relax into the next step.

"My hope is built on nothing less 
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame 
But wholly lean on Jesus' name."

"My Hope is Built on Nothing Less (On Christ the Solid Rock)" by Robert Critchley