Rehab and Addiction

 

My plan of action until my next appointment, which was scheduled for today, March 1st, was to do my therapy exercises at home every other day and, on the days that I didn't do those, I could ride bike. The therapy plan took about 20 minutes. I diligently followed the plan. I also rode bike anywhere from 3.1-6.2 miles eight out of those twelve days in between, sometimes using our stationary bike and others actually riding outside, trying to focus on raising my heart rate to make it an effective cardio exercise. Today, when the therapist asked how I was doing, I told her that my legs are feeling somewhat better. There have been days that I went downstairs without noticeable pain, and I haven't wanted to sit and cry by the end of each day. She said, "Yeah, I don't think you'll be here much longer." When I checked out, the receptionist asked if I needed to make another appointment. I said, "I assume so since this is only my second visit, but the therapist didn't say." She went back to check and when she returned, she said "She'd like to make two more weekly appointments." I scheduled those, but left feeling perplexed. Will I be back to running by then? I doubt it so what is the plan of action? I guess I will have to ask her that at my next appointment.

Also, somewhere over the course of these two weeks, a topic I haven't brought up yet is that I have been convicted of a food addiction. My extended family has been dealing with the horrible, heart breaking, life stealing monster of alcohol addiction. My mom or sister (I can't remember which one is responsible for sending this particular video) sent a video of a preacher talking about alcoholism. In the course of the sermon, he brought up being overweight and how food addiction is almost considered humorous in America. We joke about overeating and have made it normal and acceptable. Self-love and acceptance are seen as empowering. While I do believe God wants us to see ourselves as good, His creation, His masterpiece; "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27), being overweight can lead to health issues and is not God's ideal plan for us. I was convicted because anything that consumes our thoughts more than God is considered an idol. One definition for the word "idol" according to Miriam-Webster is "an object of extreme devotion." As long as I can remember, food had become a comfort for me. Feeling sad? Have a doughnut. Accomplished something good? Stop for ice cream. I've always been uncomfortable with my weight. I've changed my eating habits over the years, but I never was necessarily convicted of it. I never saw it as a heart issue that I need to submit to God. 

That's where the idea of this blog came in. I don't know if I will actually get back to running. That is my goal, but is it wise? If I continue to pound my knees, will it lead to a knee replacement? Is that inevitable at this point anyway? Reducing weight that I am putting on my knees would definitely be helpful. I'm hesitant to document my journey publicly. What if I fail? What if I can't change my eating habits? What if I put actual numbers out there and I can't lose the weight? BUT what if by having someone follow along it keeps me accountable? What if by being totally real and honest, I can inspire someone else? What if by inviting people to join with me, I find encouragement and actually learn new things to help me along the way? What if by being vulnerable, I finally find the freedom I have been looking for?

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

I invite you to join me on My JourKNEE back.