Joy and Hope in the Midst of Sadness and Despair

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I know it's December and in the spirit of the holiday, I should probably discuss all things joyful and hopeful. 

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you". 1 Peter 1:3-5 (NIV)

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11 (NIV)

While I absolutely have joy and hope, there is something else that is weighing heavy on my heart, and I wanted to write out my thoughts about it. So, let's pretend we are out on a run together and I'm just talking to you as we go. Of course, to make it more realistic, you can read it in an out-of-breath and rambling manner which may actually be how this post turns out anyway since I am just going to type as the words come.

I have several family members who struggle with addiction but one, in particular, appears to be losing the battle in a very visible, heartbreaking way. This has been going on for the past eight to ten years, probably longer, showing up in other forms in her childhood. In the past year and a half, it has only gotten worse. If you've ever known someone struggling with addiction, it is such a helpless feeling knowing there is nothing you can do to help them make better choices. The only thing you can do from the outside is pray. I believe wholeheartedly in the power of prayer, but certain choices are completely up to that person. If they aren't willing to change their heart, their behavior and their patterns, God doesn't force them to do so. 

Circumstances surrounding that person can change so rapidly that it's hard to keep your friends up to date. That person can begin to dominate all conversations, leaving other family members to feel less important even though they are struggling with their own issues that need attention and guidance. Yet, you see the individual who is physically declining week to week, and your heart is very heavy for them. There are so many lives affected and so many dimensions to how one's addiction can affect an entire family. From moms and dads to cousins, everyone in the family is affected by addiction's horrible destruction. Because of this, it can be hard to get the support you need. 

Sometimes those closest to you don't even know that it's really bothering you. It's like any grief; you can't let it engulf you. You still have to go about your day-to-day tasks. However, you may seem moody to those around you, or you may begin to cry at times that seem out of the blue. GriefShare is a nation-wide program in the United States, consisting of videos, discussion and workbook questions offered by various church groups and ministries meant to help individuals through their personal journey of grief, specifically after the death of a loved one (see griefshare.org). There is a quote in one of the videos, though, that rings true for this discussion. Joy and sorrow can coexist. I look around at my life, and I have much to be thankful for. I am blessed greater than I could have ever imagined. In the midst of that, a heartbreak does exist and, in the midst of that, there is the knowledge that God is sovereign and knows best as He sees what we can't see. Hope doesn't go away as disparaging thoughts start to enter your mind. Joy doesn't disappear as feelings of sadness bring the tears. They exist at the same time. You need to give yourself space to sit with both.

"Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalms 126:5 (NIV)

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