Consistency

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of "consistent" includes "marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity: free from variation or contradiction" and "continuing to happen or develop in the same way." According to Google, a consistent person is "someone who is reliable, steady, and predictable in their behavior, attitudes, and actions over time." I would classify myself as a generally consistent person in work, household duties, and in my relationships with family and friends. Hopefully, those around me would also place me in that category. However, my running was beginning to be all over the place.

On Tuesday, May 5th, I began trying to be more consistent with my running. I had gotten into the habit of running "hard," or what felt hard to me at least, only when I met up with friends and then taking it easy on my solo runs. Taking it easy when I'm on my own is not a problem necessarily, but it started to become one when I was hardly running. I all too easily gave myself permission to walk. I have no issues with run/walk intervals. I usually prefer that method, but I was beginning to walk more than I ran so when I did meet up with friends it was feeling even harder. On May 5th, I mapped out a route in my head, beginning with point A and ending at point B. I knew approximately what the mileage would be. As I set out, I didn't have a pace goal in mind. The only purpose was to keep running without taking walk breaks. When I finished, the route ended up being 2.44 miles. Minus the 0.1-mile warmup walk in the beginning, I had run a straight 2.34 miles. 

I decided to continue with this plan to determine whether or not I would see improvement. This past Thursday, May 14th, I completed my sixth day of this same route. Over the six days, I can say that I have become slightly more confident. The run has felt a little easier, and I can see that if I continue with this plan, it will improve my running overall. At some point, I will increase the mileage of course. I haven't decided if that will be after a certain amount of time has passed or if I will go by feeling. Perhaps I'll just get bored with the route and decide to change it up.

This morning, I met up with "J" and "K" (who are both faster runners than me) on the river trail. My plan was to run 2.5 miles with them before turning around to run at my own pace. As I drove to meet them, I noticed my chest getting tight. I began to feel anxious. Giving myself a pep talk, I said out loud, "Take a deep breath." and "You know you can do this distance." They both start earlier up the trail and run my way. As I saw them approaching the parking lot I was in, I got out of the van. They greeted me with the usual, "How are you?' and I responded with my usual unenthusiastic, "Good. I'm good." As we began running, I felt okay. I don't know why I constantly doubt myself. I hope this consistency training will help me gain confidence.

I also hope that as I gain confidence in this area, it will spill into other areas of my life. My greatest fear is getting to the end of my life, not having been consistent in serving God and living out the purpose He has for me. 1 Corinthians 15:58 (CSB), "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable always excelling in the Lord's work, because you know that our labor in the Lord is not in vain."