A Call to Boldness

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I did something dumb. We booked an Airbnb for an extended weekend family getaway in May. No, that is not the dumb part. It is the same weekend as the 5K I registered my husband and I for that I wrote about two weeks ago (see "Work in Progress"). That is the dumb part! I didn't write the 5K event on my calendar so when we planned the vacation, the date didn't click in my head. Yesterday, as I ran with "J" and "K," I was talking about it. I was about to tell them that I wouldn't be able to meet up with them for two weekends in May. One, because we planned a family vacation and two, because of the race. That's when it hit me, in that moment. "Darn! I think they are on the same weekend." I feel so stupid!

If you read "Work in Progress," you know that I hesitated to sign up for this 5K in the first place. I was afraid of coming in last place. "J" had given me a lecture on why that shouldn't matter. I was still a little apprehensive, but I really was looking forward to participating in this event because it is an organization I wholeheartedly support and recently began volunteering for ( www.alignlifeministries.org) as well as looking forward to doing it with my husband. Now it seemed almost as if I double-booked on purpose. I suppose if Dr. Freud analyzed the situation, he could make a case for that to be true, but I swear it was not done consciously. I have even been posting about the 5K on Facebook and asking for donations toward the race. Because we were running it, people made contributions. I am angry at myself for letting them down. I also let myself down.  

My whole running journey has been an exploration into self-love and wanting to think of myself as God thinks of me. I go back and forth between wanting to improve in strength and endurance and also feeling like I don't need to prove myself to anyone else. What do I think of me? If I became the strongest possible version of myself, would I still feel like I don't measure up? That's the thinking that needs to change. That self-doubt holds me back from the purpose God has for me. Whether it's randomly praying for someone, sharing my faith with someone or simply giving a compliment to a stranger, the feeling of not being good enough holds me back. This is not a pity party for me or a plead for positive feedback, this is a call to action!

In January 2025, I made Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional goals for myself as a way to keep me accountable and also track my progress. I feel like I have stuck to all of those, not perfectly but pretty closely, as we move through 2026. Perhaps it is time for what I will call "Boldness" goals. "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives up power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) This week, I will look for an opportunity to pray in person with either someone I know or a stranger as well as compliment a stranger. I pray that I am open to God's leading and I will report back next week. I suppose I also need to look for another 5K to register for.


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