Because of Him, You Are Enough

This week, I had lunch with a friend who is a mother of six. She said everyone talks about how hard it is to parent a toddler, but no one talks about how hard it is to parent an adult child. You hear about the terrible twos, which in my case I found the threes to be even more terrible, but that's another topic of discussion. No one ever talks about the difficulties that come with parenting an adult child. She said someone once told her "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems." When they're little, if they fall and scrape a knee, it's easy to scoop them up, give them a hug and kiss and make it all better. If someone calls them a name, yes, it's hurtful but they can run home into your arms and still feel safe and loved. The older they get, the more outside opinions begin to form the way they think about themselves.

When you are their world, you can somewhat shield them from the ugliness of this world, but when they're fully out in it, they begin to see the rejection and betrayal that comes from strangers as well as those they once considered friends. My daughter, who is by nature 100% an introvert, has forced herself out of her comfort zone to try to build deeper friendships with other Christian young women. When we first started attending our current church, she invited 4 other young women her age to meet for coffee at different times, hoping to foster a friendship. She attended the Young Adult life group. She helped lead the nursery ministry. All attempts led to feelings of further rejection. She longs for someone to have deep biblical discussion, check in on her and pray over her. One night this week, she told me that she is "never enough," and my heart ached for her. How can you help your child, who is a piece of you walking around, feel like they are enough? I too have had those same feelings and struggle with them to this day, but I do have the benefit of a husband and a few good friends that pour encouragement into me. It took many years to foster those relationships. While you are waiting for them, you can get discouraged.

As they grow you get to hear about their dreams whether it be for a certain position on a sports team, a particular job to open up, growth in a relationship with a family member or a potential spouse and you continue to see the years pass by without these dreams being fulfilled. You can see disappointment begin to set in, sometimes even doubting the love God has for them. I've had these questions myself. "If God is loving, why isn't he taking care of me?" "Why aren't my prayers being answered?" These are hard questions to answer. Psalm 100:5 (CSB) says "For the Lord is good, and his faithful love endures forever; his faithfulness, through all generations." How can this be true, that his love is faithful, when our circumstances seem to be going the opposite of how we would like? I can't give you a once and done answer on this question, but what I can tell you is the conclusion that I've come to. As a believer, if I'm going to say that God is good when things are going my way, how can I not believe He is good when things are not going my way? Who am I to say that what I think is best for me is actually best for me? The bottom line that I've come to is that God is God and I am not. If I knew everything He knows, what would my need for Him be?

The only hope I can pass on to my children is that God IS faithful. If we're honest, this world is awful and I don't really want to be here some days, but I know God has placed me here in this particular time for a specific reason and I trust Him fully to have my best interest in mind. I pray that my children will "know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:19 (NIV) and that they know because of His love that they ARE ENOUGH. It is not because of them, but because of God living in them! Without God, what is the point of all of this? If you are a non-believer that actually read to the end of this, what is your answer to that question? Let's talk!